It can be difficult for a couple to seek relationship counselling for the first time and much of this comes down to a perceived stigma.

Everyone would like to think their partner is their soulmate, with whom they will spend the rest of their life and who just ‘gets’ them. To some people, admitting that they may not be a flawless couple feels like a defeat. The truth is that speaking to someone who has been on counselling courses can be a hugely positive step that enhances a bond, not just repair one that has been left in tatters.

This is something that not everyone understands; counselling sessions are not simply emergency surgery operations to remove a relationship ‘tumour’, they can also be advisory talks with a GP about how to prevent the onset of an illness.

The analogy with a person’s health is actually stronger than it first appears, since some people do all the so-called right things with regards to their health and are still knocked down by a disease, whereas others spend their whole life smoking without succumbing to lung cancer. The same goes for a relationship, you can never guarantee the health of your relationship, but you can take steps to give it the best chance.

In this way, a session with a therapist can simply be a chance to explore issues that may come up later in life. By confronting it head on, you would hope to be able to talk through the problem or find some sort of compromise, rather than let it fester and blow up some other time.

Of course, some people who go to relationship counselling really may be on the brink of separating, but they may also be taking the first step towards a brighter future. The best way to approach such sessions is to always assume you are in the latter category, as the moment you stop believing in your relationship is when you are most in danger of losing your partner.